Agent Orange

Love has always been in my roots
You felt like soil to my heart
Filled with nutrients
That could help me grow
It seemed like you felt the same
That I was a secure place for plantation
That you believed that all my offerings
Could replenish and nourish all you are
I thought we would fertilize the foundation
With raw authentic ingredients  
Developed from mutual honesty
And emotions that freely flourished
You felt like sunlight in my darkness
And refreshing rain when I got too heated
Crisp leaves for me to land on
A gentle breeze that could carry me home
But I should have known something so sweet couldn't be heart-healthy
I saw stability in the presumed constant arrival of seasons
Turns out you weren't more than unpredictable weather within them
What you felt like to me has no relevance to who you are
Your true colours painted the picture clear as day
I've always been brighter than you trapped in clouds, anyway
And that's how I broke through the fog of my mistakes and misperceptions
See I've been through some life changes where my inner strength needed to shine
And have been rediscovering once again, the only sunlight I need is mine
It can enable growth from a hard fall to a steady rise
And the purest water source lives in my every line
Then I found pieces of my broken heart, fermenting
The ones that held on tight, kept me down, unrelenting
And composted their scraps to make the soil I'd been missing
These organic materials are the key to a new beginning
It's funny how a broken heart and depressed mind unstable
Causes you to forget all the things of which you're capable
A pointless ache for steady hands yet mine were always available
To hold me down and lift me up, strong enough to turn the table
I am starting to remember how I am the best place for sprouting seeds
And that the environment I have inside is the only one I need
You seeped so deep into my ground that I couldn't properly restart
The painful damage that you left was Agent Orange to my art