deepundergroundpoetry.com
Stung
A man asked me today
why I was wearing black
He said that it attracted the sun
I replied that while it may be true
bright colors attract bumble bees
and I'd rather be hot than stung
why I was wearing black
He said that it attracted the sun
I replied that while it may be true
bright colors attract bumble bees
and I'd rather be hot than stung
Published 15th Aug 2020
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comments 7
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
15th Aug 2020 5:17pm
Hahaha! White clothing is known to repel just about all insects, including mosquitoes! And it keeps you much cooler! xo
In the spirit of honest critique, I would suggest the following:
and I'd rather be hot than to get stung
I would remove 'to get', as they're really not needed:
and I'd rather be hot than stung
In the spirit of honest critique, I would suggest the following:
and I'd rather be hot than to get stung
I would remove 'to get', as they're really not needed:
and I'd rather be hot than stung
15th Aug 2020 5:25pm
15th Aug 2020 5:27pm
15th Aug 2020 5:28pm
15th Aug 2020 8:38pm
Nice pithy write ... colloquial ... yet with a subtle homespun wisdom ...
Dear FM,
In the metaphorical sense, lately I can’t help but think it’s much better to be admired and sought after than caught and on the hook for the requirements of a relationship. No matter how you slice it, your write is a clever snippet of real life and as I learn more about poetry I think your poem is wonderfully engaging. H🌷
In the metaphorical sense, lately I can’t help but think it’s much better to be admired and sought after than caught and on the hook for the requirements of a relationship. No matter how you slice it, your write is a clever snippet of real life and as I learn more about poetry I think your poem is wonderfully engaging. H🌷
16th Aug 2020 00:42am
