deepundergroundpoetry.com
Stung
A man asked me today
why I was wearing black
He said that it attracted the sun
I replied that while it may be true
bright colors attract bumble bees
and I'd rather be hot than stung
why I was wearing black
He said that it attracted the sun
I replied that while it may be true
bright colors attract bumble bees
and I'd rather be hot than stung
Published 15th Aug 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 7
reads 425
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
15th Aug 2020 5:17pm
Hahaha! White clothing is known to repel just about all insects, including mosquitoes! And it keeps you much cooler! xo
In the spirit of honest critique, I would suggest the following:
and I'd rather be hot than to get stung
I would remove 'to get', as they're really not needed:
and I'd rather be hot than stung
In the spirit of honest critique, I would suggest the following:
and I'd rather be hot than to get stung
I would remove 'to get', as they're really not needed:
and I'd rather be hot than stung
15th Aug 2020 5:25pm
15th Aug 2020 5:27pm
15th Aug 2020 5:28pm
15th Aug 2020 8:38pm
Nice pithy write ... colloquial ... yet with a subtle homespun wisdom ...
Dear FM,
In the metaphorical sense, lately I can’t help but think it’s much better to be admired and sought after than caught and on the hook for the requirements of a relationship. No matter how you slice it, your write is a clever snippet of real life and as I learn more about poetry I think your poem is wonderfully engaging. H🌷
In the metaphorical sense, lately I can’t help but think it’s much better to be admired and sought after than caught and on the hook for the requirements of a relationship. No matter how you slice it, your write is a clever snippet of real life and as I learn more about poetry I think your poem is wonderfully engaging. H🌷
16th Aug 2020 00:42am
