So Sick

 
Normally around this time of year I start  
Thinking about you
And since there’s no more we,
 
I listen to the videos  
With your voice
I thought I was stronger than this
But i’d rather walk around
With my head down,
 
All I can do is listen  
To all these sad songs
As I scroll through Instagram
Seeing my friend  
Post about the love of her life
I remember when i called you that,
I wish i could turn off the radio
It just reminds me how you’re not mine anymore
 
And For just some reason
I can't get over you
I’m tired of being blue
Crying over what could have been,
 
I don’t know why i can't turn off this radio
I can’t believe i have to now go through
My phone and remove your name
Off my contacts list
I have to delete your birthday  
Off my calendar
I wish i could let go
Cause i'm so sick of laying here
Wishing you were here in my bed
 
I wish i could be smoking with you at 2:30am  
Instead of by myself  
With no one to talk to
No one to listen to about their passions
 
I have to stop playing all these videos
I'm trying to be stronger than this
Instead i'm trying to crawl back into a safety zone
 
You were my security blanket
When i needed it the most
 
I wish i could just leave it alone
But i have songs that remind me of you,
I wish this radio would play something else
Instead of all this heartbreak
Why can’t I turn it off?
 
I'm so sick of wishing you were here
I had a first love
It was great
But now I want the radio off.