deepundergroundpoetry.com
Modernistic Wheels
Thick symmetric wheels
Turning continuously above ground
Making a continuous agreeable sound
Leaving no trace
But they are so noticeable
There should be a crack
Just like a bolt of lightning
But the road is completely fine
Thunderstruck by innovation
Don't we all get sometimes?
Turning continuously above ground
Making a continuous agreeable sound
Leaving no trace
But they are so noticeable
There should be a crack
Just like a bolt of lightning
But the road is completely fine
Thunderstruck by innovation
Don't we all get sometimes?
Published 22nd Jul 2020
Author's Note
CC 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 1
comments 7
reads 467
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
22nd Jul 2020 6:49am
28th Jul 2020 9:34pm
8th Aug 2020 2:43am
In my life I'm really realizing that things are not what they seem. We view things a certain way and realize that is a very common human thing to do.
Anonymous
- Edited 10th Jun 2024 11:45am
5th May 2021 10:38am
<< post removed >>
8th Jun 2021 5:49pm
8th Jun 2021 4:24pm
The sentence formed by the last two lines is weirdly worded. Since there’s not really a consistent rhyme scheme to maintain you might as well word it grammatically: “Don’t we all get thunderstruck,/sometimes, by innovation?” The couplet’s not really needed, anyway, as the sentiment is implied by what comes before. The rest of the poem is a well-constructed and fun little evocation of modern technology.
8th Jun 2021 5:46pm
It's a friendly tone... Perhaps the word "thunderstruck' was a little bit intense. What do you think? Thanks for the critique.
