Entry 492

Today I was surrounded by love and friendship. Though somehow I felt nearly invisible. Maybe a shadow or silhouette perhaps even a ghost. My voice fell upon 18 ears and was never heard. I laughed at my own jokes even though it was spoken loudly, no attention was paid too. I find relief most of the time not being the popular one or even unknown at times. It’s less drama to deal with. Less heartache and pain. However when that heartache and pain become too much I rely on them to just listen. Not to cure my problems, no offerings, no gifts. Just an ear to listen when I need to be heard. In those rare moments when I reach out and speak and my humble words are fallen onto deaf ears, a sadness grows inside.