Pretend I'm on vacation

If I die
Know that I tried
I didn't just give up, I explored all my options until there were none left
I asked for help when no one was able to accept
I tried to do what I could
When no one else would
As I live
Just know there's nothing I didn't forgive
It's alright
I just turned out the light
I promise it'll come back on
As soon as I'm gone
I just won't be here anymore
If it helps, just pretend I went on vacation
To some beautiful nation
Don't think about me
In flame for eternity
Even as I breathe, my hope continues to drop
I wish my heart would stop
But it just keeps beating, you see?
It's as if my very existence is taunting me