I stoped Trying

i tried to hold it in but it slipped
tried to play it loud but it skipped
tried to stomach it but threw up
tried to defuse it but it blew up

i tried to fix it but it broke
tried to laugh but it wasnt a joke
tried to believe but it broke my mind
tried to polish it, but it refused to shine

i tried to cry but it was hard as stone
tried to understand but it wouldnt be known
tried to hold it but it wouldnt stay
tried to change it but it wouldnt sway

i tried to numb it but it loved the pain
tried to dry it but it loved the rain
tried to see it but it remained clear
tried to mask it but it reappeared

so i tried to kill it but wouldt die
tried to bleed it but its blood had ran dry
tried to burn it but fire wouldnt catch
tried to cage it but it broke the latch

i ran after but it was to swift
tried to scream but it silenced my lips
tried to appologise for what id done that day
tried to reason but it jumped anyway

i tried to mourn but no tears came forth
tried to feel bad but found no remourse
tried to hurt but i felt no pain
so i stopped trying.....