I'm So Confused

I can’t cope with this unhappy marriage  
I’m afraid it’s not working for me  
What I mean is that it feels like torture  
I’m not very skilled at pretence  
My act has lasted so long, and it’s a mystery  
I can’t keep deceiving you this way  
I just don’t love you, I never did  
Frankly, I don’t know why I married you  
 
Day and night, I think about the past  
The woman I love doesn’t love me anymore  
It happened just as I’d predicted  
At one time, she loved me obsessively,  
But she lost feelings for me  
Is this reality or just a bad dream?  
My whole life is an illusion  
I want to wake up from this nightmare  
 
I’ve never doubted your love,  
But I’d rather you didn’t love me  
I can’t reciprocate the love you show  
The tension is literally killing me  
You’re clinging to what you think exist  
Sometimes I feel something for you,  
But I don’t feel like I’m in love  
I don’t have erotic feelings for you  
It’s wrong to let you waste your love on me  
 
I don’t want to divorce you,  
Neither do I want to stay with you  
Chelsea, I’m so confused  
You may think I’m an ungrateful man,  
But I’m not as lucky as you are  
You have me, and that’s what you want  
Things are going OK for you  
I never got what I wanted out of life