To My Ex

You.
You’re the one person that broke me.
Broke doesn’t mean you won, but you made your mark.
Your mark is forever branded into my heart, my mind, and my soul.
I forgave you when you cheated and lied to me.
I forgave you when you used my mental instability to make me stay.
I forgave you for all the harsh things you said.
I cannot forgive how you claimed my body like it was yours.
I cannot forget the way your hands felt on my skin as I asked you to stop.
I cannot forget how you laughed before threatening me when you left.
I cannot forget my body’s reaction to your unwanted attention.
No matter how many years pass, or how hard I scrub, I can’t seem to cleanse myself of you.
Sometimes, you appear in my nightmares.
You kill me before you lay your dirty hands on my virgin skin.
You bring friends to help so that I look like a needy whore.
You let me go and begin to stalk me like a predator does its meal.
Afterward, I wake up to my heart racing, heavy breathing, and sweating.
I can feel the ghost of your touch on my body making me itch.
I run to the shower and scrub until my skin is red and sometimes even bleeding.
I cry because I find the memories replaying themselves in my head.
Once my body gives out, I sit there feeling trapped.
No matter what I do, I can’t forget what you did.
It wasn’t a dream…It wasn’t a nightmare…It was real.
The worst part of it all is the effect it still has on me.
It’s crazy how one event can change someone to the point of being haunted by it for years.
Living in the aftermath takes a much bigger toll than I let on.
I am no longer the carefree young girl I once was, now I’m a terrified one.