Escape

You are like an overdose.
Such fantasy in the thought, but too absolute of a commitment.
A sickness that feels like nirvana with no kind of fluorescent outlet.
I know I’m addicted, but I can’t stop here.
So I run to familiar thoughts that cut just as deep.
Thinking once again I’m the purple flame is something I cannot reap.
Building my walls too tall so only I may stay inside.
Unless I’m with you, my second favorite place to hide.
Where I tell myself I am happy.
I am happy. Right?
Or maybe I’m not. Since I can’t remember the last time I could just sit down and write.
I have been too consumed in an internal fight.
Taking many trips aside my narcissistic bluff that I’ve neglected to see that you are actually in love with me.
Could it really be?
I can’t get myself to say it back, once again it’s always about me.
Writing my own ending and tearing out the pages of what’s written in ours.
Your are alone and dreaming of me, while I am at battle consumed in darkness for hours.
Wrapped in the safety of dull grey and past ties.
All of my fatal analyzation has clouded that the sky is really blue- just like your eyes.
Purely filtered to your soul like the ocean at tides pull.
Even with the best I don’t feel full.
So I keep putting in more and that’s leading us closer to closing the door.
But if I don’t come to grips with myself and do it fast there will be no way that this unity will last.
And I’ll be faced with the fears that are numbing my consciousness and bringing me to tears.
Because I know what I feel for you is eternal.
So rich and clinging to the soul.
I want to say it back my my mind is too mushed, that instead I’ll push you away and say I felt rushed.
This ticking in my head is making me nervous, making me rhyme, I am running out of time.
To say I love you too is so divine it’s as taxing as crime.
So I’ll climb back in to bed and lay on your chest where your lips will meet mine.
I’ll count the seconds where our energy is radiating of blue and red.
Slip out of my fears and just be here with you instead.
Praying for your patience and to take the nihilism away.
Good night sweet being, I will be here when you wake.
Let the night calm our hearts, and be my escape.