deepundergroundpoetry.com
BULLY
my reaction to the terror
you instilled
and the
humiliation
you caused
was a slow
death --
cigarettes
and other poisons
pilfered
from my
mother's purse,
little
crutches
for the lame
that they might
walk among
men
my tendency was to berate myself --
i'd not known a male who would shrink
from the spectacle
of two athletes beating
each other to a pulp
or of one boy rubbing
another's face
in the dirt
but boys will be boys
and despite wisdom gained
and that sweet adage
that the learned
forgive and forget
i've done neither
having nursed those cuts
for a thousand years
and still
less than hero,
i wish you
only
the worst
and then
ask
for forgiveness
you instilled
and the
humiliation
you caused
was a slow
death --
cigarettes
and other poisons
pilfered
from my
mother's purse,
little
crutches
for the lame
that they might
walk among
men
my tendency was to berate myself --
i'd not known a male who would shrink
from the spectacle
of two athletes beating
each other to a pulp
or of one boy rubbing
another's face
in the dirt
but boys will be boys
and despite wisdom gained
and that sweet adage
that the learned
forgive and forget
i've done neither
having nursed those cuts
for a thousand years
and still
less than hero,
i wish you
only
the worst
and then
ask
for forgiveness
Published 11th Apr 2020
Author's Note
A bleak little poem about how some things are never resolved.
We may do okay, grow up, carry on with our lives, but the bullied carry their scars throughout.
I know my bully was likely bullied himself, but still....
Back in the day the wisdom said let the kids work it out, but now good parents hover and interfere.
I applaud it wholeheartedly, and wish mine had been there for me.
We may do okay, grow up, carry on with our lives, but the bullied carry their scars throughout.
I know my bully was likely bullied himself, but still....
Back in the day the wisdom said let the kids work it out, but now good parents hover and interfere.
I applaud it wholeheartedly, and wish mine had been there for me.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 1
comments 9
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
11th Apr 2020 4:30pm
Well penned! That old adage also excused boys from harassing girls, so they grew up to harass women too. "Boys will be boys" and "He probably likes you" in responses to hair being pulled, or insects being lobbed down the front or back of a dress, etc.
No wonder domestic violence and stalking has increased; some think they're entitled to have another's attention whenever they want. So sorry for your scars, but they did make you wise to those tactics.
Hopefully this parental interference and mass education on bullying will carve a new generation where it isn't tolerated. Great post; thanks for sharing.
No wonder domestic violence and stalking has increased; some think they're entitled to have another's attention whenever they want. So sorry for your scars, but they did make you wise to those tactics.
Hopefully this parental interference and mass education on bullying will carve a new generation where it isn't tolerated. Great post; thanks for sharing.
11th Apr 2020 4:38pm
11th Apr 2020 6:53pm
Dear J,
You are a far greater person than I, as I would wish the worst and then smirk with satisfaction and by pass any forgiveness asking 😉. I’m terribly sorry you carry this, it’s a cruel and exhausting pain to have. However, I’ve cast a spell for you on these wretched bullies...your write, meanwhile is very focused and razor sharp on how awful the feelings and personal responses are to this nightmare and while it’s a rough subject it is an excellent piece.
H🌷
You are a far greater person than I, as I would wish the worst and then smirk with satisfaction and by pass any forgiveness asking 😉. I’m terribly sorry you carry this, it’s a cruel and exhausting pain to have. However, I’ve cast a spell for you on these wretched bullies...your write, meanwhile is very focused and razor sharp on how awful the feelings and personal responses are to this nightmare and while it’s a rough subject it is an excellent piece.
H🌷
11th Apr 2020 7:20pm
Thanks so much Honoria, for your kind words.
I was reluctant to post this poem. It is amazing to me that being bullied as a child is still embarrassing to me.
I've had a recent illness (no Covid) that had me thinking about the things we do to our bodies to escape emotional pain. One thing leads to another. That was the start of this poem.
Thanks again.
J
I was reluctant to post this poem. It is amazing to me that being bullied as a child is still embarrassing to me.
I've had a recent illness (no Covid) that had me thinking about the things we do to our bodies to escape emotional pain. One thing leads to another. That was the start of this poem.
Thanks again.
J
11th Apr 2020 7:23pm
i wasn't sure if i should or was gonna share an obtuse related past to this
but want You to know
that in my high school years
i became a Bully to the Bullies in my school. Not something i am proud of but it just really pissed me off to turn a corner and see someone bullying a disabled person or an obviously shy or weaker individual.
When the Bully saw me he went a running and if he could run faster than me he got away and if not.........
i beat the shit out of him.
i wish there was a vigilante fighting for You and even though that is not the best thing
what Ahavati & Honoria have shared is better.
i seek non-violence in my present (though i still retain the knowledge when i earned my 3rd degree equivalence in martial arts [we didn't have belts where i studied / practiced])
but want You to know
that in my high school years
i became a Bully to the Bullies in my school. Not something i am proud of but it just really pissed me off to turn a corner and see someone bullying a disabled person or an obviously shy or weaker individual.
When the Bully saw me he went a running and if he could run faster than me he got away and if not.........
i beat the shit out of him.
i wish there was a vigilante fighting for You and even though that is not the best thing
what Ahavati & Honoria have shared is better.
i seek non-violence in my present (though i still retain the knowledge when i earned my 3rd degree equivalence in martial arts [we didn't have belts where i studied / practiced])
11th Apr 2020 9:04pm
Thanks so much for commenting and for sharing, Tallen.
Much appreciated.
Thank you.
Much appreciated.
Thank you.
11th Apr 2020 7:44pm
Hey J,
Sad situation on both sides of the issue. Guilt on one, hurt on the other. The big question is how long the effects are carried. I was lucky. I was the tough kid who no one bothered. Bully’s seek the vulnerable, because they’re insecure themselves. That’s the secret the guard!
Sad situation on both sides of the issue. Guilt on one, hurt on the other. The big question is how long the effects are carried. I was lucky. I was the tough kid who no one bothered. Bully’s seek the vulnerable, because they’re insecure themselves. That’s the secret the guard!
11th Apr 2020 10:58pm
I refuse to look past the actions of any bullies. To do so is to give consent to their behavior. Excellent write.
hugs,
buddhakitty.
hugs,
buddhakitty.
12th Apr 2020 1:58am
Thanks, buddhakitty.
Bullies are hard to love.
Sowing their little seeds of misery.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Bullies are hard to love.
Sowing their little seeds of misery.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
