deepundergroundpoetry.com
Out of the Sacred
Oh see her
And witness
the dying of an Angel
Her face
Torn from it's shadows
Grimacing and angular
Scowling woman's perversions
Like alabaster deity
While whisps of her veil
Singe and rise
Carried off and into
Some cold
and unholy current
And her ashes
They obscure my sun
And they darken the sanctuary
Of my horizon
She passes
And it would not be quick
Then tossing great beauty to the floor
An afterthought.....
I reach for it
And thread it through my fingers
as if it were a rosary ...
as if I were the blessed and faithful
praying for an end
And witness
the dying of an Angel
Her face
Torn from it's shadows
Grimacing and angular
Scowling woman's perversions
Like alabaster deity
While whisps of her veil
Singe and rise
Carried off and into
Some cold
and unholy current
And her ashes
They obscure my sun
And they darken the sanctuary
Of my horizon
She passes
And it would not be quick
Then tossing great beauty to the floor
An afterthought.....
I reach for it
And thread it through my fingers
as if it were a rosary ...
as if I were the blessed and faithful
praying for an end
Published 29th Mar 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 12
reading list entries 6
comments 23
reads 678
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
29th Mar 2020 7:06am
You weave the darkest threads of your souls into an animated tapestry that sings and enchants. Your poem is torn from your heart that beats through words of pulsing divinity. You are queen of all things dark and sensual. I bow before your art like a commoner in your labyrinth of dreams. John
29th Mar 2020 6:00pm
29th Mar 2020 10:21am
29th Mar 2020 5:57pm
darkly woven deathly times....as you verse it so dark.. but yet thus that's how the light is so bright then & perhaps forev.. the light , so holy & eternal.. both the darkness & light feels delicately woven in love in your striking style so minimalistic & sharp .. Love which is the depths...which is more pains.. & divine ecstasy.. than the superficial dissolving spree of happiness & all that so~highs... juzme dear poetess .. this is absolute faith & truth of Love ..in the times now ev . write on more x
29th Mar 2020 5:57pm
29th Mar 2020 12:54pm
This is excellently composed, Jennifer.
In the spirit of honest critique, the final stanza reads a bit awkward with that second "And". I would suggest a em dash to signal something significant follows; and, significant it is. Bloody fantastic ending
I reach for it
And thread it through my fingers
as if it were a rosary—
as if I were the blessed and faithful
praying for an end
In the spirit of honest critique, the final stanza reads a bit awkward with that second "And". I would suggest a em dash to signal something significant follows; and, significant it is. Bloody fantastic ending
I reach for it
And thread it through my fingers
as if it were a rosary—
as if I were the blessed and faithful
praying for an end
29th Mar 2020 5:58pm
Ahavati....thank you as always
I like it much better this way
Peace and love doll
I like it much better this way
Peace and love doll
Anonymous
29th Mar 2020 6:35pm
A very compelling write, Jennifer.
If this was inspired by a particular poem, don't forget to include its title and a link to it in your Notes.
Thanks for entering the Classic Corner #YehudaAmichai challenge and good luck in the judging!
If this was inspired by a particular poem, don't forget to include its title and a link to it in your Notes.
Thanks for entering the Classic Corner #YehudaAmichai challenge and good luck in the judging!
29th Mar 2020 6:50pm
Anonymous
- Edited 24th Sep 2022 4:45am
29th Mar 2020 9:03pm
<< post removed >>
29th Mar 2020 11:14pm
Anonymous
- Edited 30th Mar 2020 1:19am
30th Mar 2020 1:18am
Dark and beautiful, I feel honored that you like some of my writing.
30th Mar 2020 1:32am
30th Mar 2020 2:53am
Dear J,
I bow in admiration for the entire piece. “And her ashes
They obscure my sun
And they darken the sanctuary
Of my horizon” this stanza however, feels like it is beckoning me to the dark side and I like it. I love the what this piece created in my head with angels and fire and rebirth. Great write and all the best in the challenge! H🌷
I bow in admiration for the entire piece. “And her ashes
They obscure my sun
And they darken the sanctuary
Of my horizon” this stanza however, feels like it is beckoning me to the dark side and I like it. I love the what this piece created in my head with angels and fire and rebirth. Great write and all the best in the challenge! H🌷
30th Mar 2020 3:20am
30th Mar 2020 2:33pm
There is such a visceral thread throughout the whole piece. The voice is both measured and raw, tangible and smoke. There is a sense of loss pervading. This was an intriguing and evocative read.
30th Mar 2020 2:33pm
There is such a visceral thread throughout the whole piece. The voice is both measured and raw, tangible and smoke. There is a sense of loss pervading. This was an intriguing and evocative read.
30th Mar 2020 2:33pm
There is such a visceral thread throughout the whole piece. The voice is both measured and raw, tangible and smoke. There is a sense of loss pervading. This was an intriguing and evocative read.
Thank you Daniel, your word means a lot to me.
There's a few, John, Uma, yourself, tease...nomoth, Ahavati....i scour my updates for your pieces. I love this about DU. The community and talent, inspiration
My last piece, Chains was written taken right from a response to one of your works.
I respect your abilities very much 💛
There's a few, John, Uma, yourself, tease...nomoth, Ahavati....i scour my updates for your pieces. I love this about DU. The community and talent, inspiration
My last piece, Chains was written taken right from a response to one of your works.
I respect your abilities very much 💛
30th Mar 2020 2:51pm
Aw thank you. I would recommend Nomoth, fields_broke, Summultima, TroubleLovesMe, Miss_Sub, boybrains, HeyyCyanides, Rachel Lauren, Souladareatease. I could go on for an hour. We just have so many talented friends here.
30th Mar 2020 2:55pm
Nomoth and Tease and Uma, (oh my gawwwsh, summultima) already 3 of my favorites. ....and I most certainly will read the rest.
Dear Jen,
With all that’s been happening here, there & everywhere, it’s still no excuse that I’ve fallen far behind, but I don’t forget...
This piece is beautiful & riveting. How its subtleness with the dark, unholy, yet sanctioned details, finds ways to penetrate my distorted perception... to make the images clearer.
With all that’s been happening here, there & everywhere, it’s still no excuse that I’ve fallen far behind, but I don’t forget...
This piece is beautiful & riveting. How its subtleness with the dark, unholy, yet sanctioned details, finds ways to penetrate my distorted perception... to make the images clearer.
