Phases

It's in moments like these that
madness manifests not so
magnificently..
There's times when
I so easily slip into
states and phases of being sick
of everything..
myself most of all..
these transformations
have not been so delicate
or dictatable..
pushed myself to what
I perceived to be my
 psychological limits..

No turning back once peculiar paths
have been pursued and certain
levels have been revealed and reached,
cosmic curtains raised
releasing a previously concealed,
unbreechable presence
 and secret ways of being..

As I sit here in the sun
alone with no one,
I'm seeing
the rays and serene scenes make me whole and one even as
I feel trapped in this hole within
with nowhere to run
from each fear
escalating emotions
and enhancing the emptiness..
another reset is required
can't say I've aquired the confidence
or power within myself
to remain calm and rational
if more chaos transpires
and fluctuates ..
Must resuscitate and not fall victim
to these frequent foolish frustrations..