deepundergroundpoetry.com
Be quiet.
It's late,
ebony sacks 'neath my eyes
indicate a need
for sleep
though
the delicacy of my delay hints,
ticks for extra.
Oh, relief,
even for a brief moment.
Could someone lull me to sleep
or ask me how I am without
the intention
of gossiping
like banshees,
river-witches?
If I own the Nile,
you own the muck and bog and the arguable deceit.
I am tired now,
let me sleep
alone.
ebony sacks 'neath my eyes
indicate a need
for sleep
though
the delicacy of my delay hints,
ticks for extra.
Oh, relief,
even for a brief moment.
Could someone lull me to sleep
or ask me how I am without
the intention
of gossiping
like banshees,
river-witches?
If I own the Nile,
you own the muck and bog and the arguable deceit.
I am tired now,
let me sleep
alone.
Published 8th Jan 2012
| Edited 9th Jan 2012
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comments 3
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The author encourages honest critique.
9th Jan 2012 9:02pm
Poetess
Another small gem.
'you own the muck and bog
and the arguable deceit.'
is pure gold. Devastating.
You might like to work on
'Could someone to lull me
to sleep'.
May be get rid of the 'to'
in the beginning.
Curtsy,
s'
Another small gem.
'you own the muck and bog
and the arguable deceit.'
is pure gold. Devastating.
You might like to work on
'Could someone to lull me
to sleep'.
May be get rid of the 'to'
in the beginning.
Curtsy,
s'
9th Jan 2012 9:17pm
Thank you Summit, completely right - don't even notice those things. Thank you for being my second eyes.
9th Jan 2012 9:18pm
