Can't change my life

Maybe I'm meant to suffer
Maybe I'm meant to be in pain
Maybe I deserve it
Maybe I'm going insane

I don't know how to be happy
I don't see how I can be okay
I don't see any way to change
My dreams feel so far away

I'm a shadow of a man
I'm broken within my mind
I'm alone with all this shit
I'm so damn far behind

I don't trust myself at all
I don't think I will ever have love
I don't think I am worth fighting for
I don't think I'll end up above

I'm so lost in my own head
So much darkness I feel inside
So much heartbreak in my life
So much emotion I try to hide

I lie to myself every day
I tell myself that I can help you
I will just cause you pain
I can't seem to change what I do

I'm not smart enough to change the world
I'm not sure I can change my fate
I can't change the fact I'm forgotten
I'm the person I most hate

I'm a disappointment to myself
I fail and make the same mistake
I hurt everyone in my life
I am so alone and my heart will break

I don't expect to have any hope
I don't expect anyone to care for me
I don't expect to find any peace
I don't expect to ever feel free