Deeper

Stuck in mind,
sunk so low
nowhere to go
still riding solo
I'm here
helpless but hopeful
though I don't wanna be
I'm grateful to just be anywhere.

Hard to not over care
overthink and over feel
and feel overran,
run down..
I'm drowning Neath the rapids
rushing through my being
reigning recklessly supreme,
I'm sucked in
dragged downstream
a dream turned nightmare it seems
and I feign for feeling free from
this fucked mind of mine.

Let's switch
inner spaces,
get a taste of this
bitter, wasted placement of energy
I'm wasting through.
Hung up on
being hesitant or relevant
it's evident I came here to vent..
I don't wanna just quit
or admit I'm aimless
which I revel in shamelessly,
I don't wanna watch the worries
morph into something more horrid,
hard to handle and difficult to dismantle
right now my spirit is in shambles..
may seem like I'm rambling
but this is for me
I gotta let it go,
take a gamble to get past this,
take a chance to enhance this experience which has me feeling delirious.

I bleed It out through
 unreadable lines and rhymes
unveiling how I really feel
 right now I'm trying to chill
 but thoughts won't stay still
can't say what's real
I'm encaged
a slave to self
depraved and wavering
within
waiting to escape..

For fucks sake what does it take
 for me to get my shit
 straight and together
 can't keep waiting for the storm to clear
cause the weather
 ain't getting any better in here.

Clouded, clogged and stopped up
I claim to not give a fuck
 but the content of my mind
says otherwise.
 I'm just full of lies,
 man of many mood swings
 clinging to chaos,
 love to lead myself to believe
that I'm lost and don't belong
but I'm going to stay strong tonight,
 I'm going to make it
to see the morning light despite
living in fright,
in full on flight or fight mode encoded
and embedded but "instead of feeling sorry for yourself do something about it" the more you doubt this ability to alleviate and address the anguish,
sorrow and stress,
 the deeper you sink..
the steeper the climb out seems..