A Letter Of Thanks To President Trump (Leader of the World)

Dear Mr. Trump,

This is my inadequate attempt to express my deep sincere gratitude for your guidance and leadership.

What a brilliant idea to use the state of the union as a campaign tooI. The founding fathers never saw that one coming. Very good job.

You have given me so, so very many things to be grateful. about.

Thank you for showing me that numbers can be manipulated to look like you are guiding us into prosperity and not just sailing on the economic upturn created by that coon, Obama. Thank god he’s out of the picture. Knocking his healthcare reforms was stellar.

I am so so proud of you for giving that medal to Mr. Limbaugh. He represents the best of America. Using his freedom of speech to put down the niggers, spics, WOPS, kikes, chinks, japs, queers, rag heads and all those other dark-skinned foreigners, supporting the NRA, smashing the NCAA, rooting for THE WALL…the list goes on
…too bad he got cancer and he’s a goner we need more great guys like him.

Giving the medal to that old decrepit WWII vet and helping that poor girl get into the school of her choice was brilliant—definitely got the black vote, the women’s vote and boosted your status with the joint chiefs. Bravo sir!

I have one question: after Mexico pays for their wall, will you get after Canada to step up and pay there dues? We both know that stuff about coming here because their poor or seeking political asylum is bullshit. They’re just coming here to steal our hard-earned cash and rape our women. I say build the walls even higher. Sorry, sometimes I ramble…

That bit about school prayer was also a glimmer of your celestial intelligence. Got the religious right in your pocket. Fuck everyone else. We’re a Christian nation and don’t let anybody forget it!

Thanks for saving my social security and for improving my health. Also the tax break was cool—I bought an extra six-pack and had some change left over.

Thank you for allowing my company to pour wastes into the river-that EPA crap was a pain in the (you-know-what). Profit margin is much better as a result.

Thank you for setting us straight about global warming (I think letting Florida sink will get rid of a bunch of those damn cubans, puerto ricans and retired rich jews). Can you do something to expedite that please?

Putting Greta, that little teenage viking bitch, in her place was awesome. She shouldn't have jumped into the shark tank. You sure showed her. Showed her who's boss. That’s why America is great.

I can’t believe that whore tore up your speech. If I was there, I would have saved it and had it framed for posterior.

Good luck in the election. If you need help in that, let me know and I will be glad to go talk to the Russians, since they really helped to in sure whose on deck.

And last but not least, if you don’t get elected, I hope you get lucky with that hot wife of yours.

Sincerely,


Your Humble Servant
-Niccolo M

p.s. if you haven’t thought of anyone yet, I would be honored tif you would make me the national poet I could write some cool sonnets about you. (for a nominal fee, wink , wink)

p.p.s. those liberals and libertarians will probably  be hunting for me after this, so if you need to reach me, I’ll be hiding out in my bomb shelter for a few months. Let the CIA, FBI and the Space Force in on it and together they will be sure to find me. I’m the guy with the foil helmet on my head (never know when those alien radio waves are gonna hit)

p.p.p.s. I love you, man!