deepundergroundpoetry.com
Unripened Haiku
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sharp wind, bitter moon
legacies of foraging
when we’re not needed
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earthly messengers
little packages too soon
will sour a tongue
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a walk in the hills
the succulent pies to make
if not for the thorns
🍒
sharp wind, bitter moon
legacies of foraging
when we’re not needed
🍒
earthly messengers
little packages too soon
will sour a tongue
🍒
a walk in the hills
the succulent pies to make
if not for the thorns
🍒
Published 29th Jan 2020
Author's Note
For the Haiku Pond group for January Haiku Theme: “Berries”
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 3
comments 12
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29th Jan 2020 11:16am
"If not for the thorns." Excellent Jade. That last lines indicates a shift in emotions ( at least for me).
hugs,
buddhakitty.
hugs,
buddhakitty.
29th Jan 2020 6:47pm
Thank you for sharing your thoughts about such observances. For I’ve always believed that between a poet & their readers, any external trading of interpretation (including queries of same), should help aid both parties to benefit in balanced growth of understanding in both a giving & receiving way. And when you add “at least for me”, it helps me understand how my writing impacts others, and, at the same time, gives me the chance to remind both of us that any interpretation has unique merits.
ever,
Jade🐾
(medicine tiger)
ever,
Jade🐾
(medicine tiger)
29th Jan 2020 12:00pm
29th Jan 2020 7:15pm
Anonymous
29th Jan 2020 3:08pm
Yes....you ARE the Mistress of the Haiku & Senryu!
29th Jan 2020 6:43pm
Hm. Unripened seems apt, flowing through each. Interesting to contemplate Jadey and well rendered. Traditional haiku makes nature observances that reveal spirit in the subtle emanations. This seems well tuned to that aim.
30th Jan 2020 1:27am
Thanks very much, Daniel, for your thoughts of understanding this short form. There are also touches of Senryu (which is concept in Haiku form) threaded throughout. I always have felt in a totally different mindset & space when I’m writing the eastern short forms.
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30th Jan 2020 9:43pm
Thank you for the honor of your visit to read and share with me your thoughts, my crowfly friend.
From my own years of hands-on experience as an active haijin since 2008, the difficulty is usually assumed by those who are yet to imagine how a ‘snapshot’ of life closeup can be made whole using so little to build on. In time, if one learns how, this ability brings a peace, and even a joy to one’s existence.
🐾
From my own years of hands-on experience as an active haijin since 2008, the difficulty is usually assumed by those who are yet to imagine how a ‘snapshot’ of life closeup can be made whole using so little to build on. In time, if one learns how, this ability brings a peace, and even a joy to one’s existence.
🐾
3rd Feb 2020 10:42pm
I've always found haiku's fun to read but difficult to write. You made these sound philosophical and spiritual.
Nicely done.
Nicely done.
My humble thanks, Wally, I always appreciate your thoughts whether on something of mine that works or doesn’t.
Your response is respectful & kind, and I understand how so many poets like yourself feel they’ve been at an impass when it comes to Eastern short forms. It’s usually based on expressing observations using so few words/ syllables. I never felt blocked by that. If anything, I wanted to know. I began to learn & grow starting 12 years ago. Doing this turned my whole experience as a poet completely around.
🐾
Your response is respectful & kind, and I understand how so many poets like yourself feel they’ve been at an impass when it comes to Eastern short forms. It’s usually based on expressing observations using so few words/ syllables. I never felt blocked by that. If anything, I wanted to know. I began to learn & grow starting 12 years ago. Doing this turned my whole experience as a poet completely around.
🐾
