deepundergroundpoetry.com
Awakenings
Men of the cloth
touching cloth
use the force
necessary force
clothes removed
innocence removed
screamed out: "NO!"
answer not taken: NO!
well men don't usually
repeated dream usually
autobiographical dream
a so unwanted dream
sodomised painfully
kissing shouldn't be painfully
I pray for God to interfere
no rescue from a sexual interfere
the innocence of an eight-year-old boy
ripped asunder, no longer a boy
thrown around like a dog's favourite toy
used up like an inflatable sex toy
there is screaming and whimpers
external and internal screaming and whimpers
I had learned not to weep
even Jesus would weep
weeping would make church members harder
the onslaught assault would be definitely harder
I learned to scream out and shout no, no, no
they should have gone to rehab they said no, no, no
they should have been made to
as I was made to
I so prayed for death
given more of this life rather than death
suddenly I was released
from these night terrors self-released
I only wept after waking up
mind and heart, breaking up
eventually, I pull myself together
the choir still sings Oh Cum All Ye Faithful, together
a coffee and a cigarette
a post-coital cigarette
they were guilty
so why do I still feel guilty,..........................
Men are such sub-human pigs
where any hole is a goal
in my best daydream
I put them to the sword
this unrequited justice
needs to be fed
touching cloth
use the force
necessary force
clothes removed
innocence removed
screamed out: "NO!"
answer not taken: NO!
well men don't usually
repeated dream usually
autobiographical dream
a so unwanted dream
sodomised painfully
kissing shouldn't be painfully
I pray for God to interfere
no rescue from a sexual interfere
the innocence of an eight-year-old boy
ripped asunder, no longer a boy
thrown around like a dog's favourite toy
used up like an inflatable sex toy
there is screaming and whimpers
external and internal screaming and whimpers
I had learned not to weep
even Jesus would weep
weeping would make church members harder
the onslaught assault would be definitely harder
I learned to scream out and shout no, no, no
they should have gone to rehab they said no, no, no
they should have been made to
as I was made to
I so prayed for death
given more of this life rather than death
suddenly I was released
from these night terrors self-released
I only wept after waking up
mind and heart, breaking up
eventually, I pull myself together
the choir still sings Oh Cum All Ye Faithful, together
a coffee and a cigarette
a post-coital cigarette
they were guilty
so why do I still feel guilty,..........................
Men are such sub-human pigs
where any hole is a goal
in my best daydream
I put them to the sword
this unrequited justice
needs to be fed
Published 19th Jan 2020
Author's Note
I wrote this poem this morning after waking up from PTSD night terrors, whilst smoking a few cigarettes and drinking a bucket of coffee
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
19th Jan 2020 6:57am
19th Jan 2020 7:20am
19th Jan 2020 7:30am
19th Jan 2020 8:40am
Oh David...that's horrible! May all the dicks of those who did that, rot and fall off! Curses!
25th Jan 2020 3:59pm
My window for vengeance has now closed and maybe that's a good thing or I might have been in prison for a very long time :-)))
thank you for your comment and support :-))))))))))))
thank you for your comment and support :-))))))))))))
20th Jan 2020 10:52am
Thank you David for sharing your traumatic story, resulting in PTSD.
PTSD is my burden to carry as well.
We are not victims or survivors. We are fucking warriors. May others know that they are not alone.✌
#MeToo
PTSD is my burden to carry as well.
We are not victims or survivors. We are fucking warriors. May others know that they are not alone.✌
#MeToo
25th Jan 2020 7:33pm
I am so sorry that you also suffered - I would take that suffering away if I could.
Isolation and loneliness are killers, these are the two things that we must try to defeat we all need someone to love and someone to receive love from (Real Love, that is) this is the only real therapy :-)))))))))))))
((((((((( HUGS ))))))))))))
Isolation and loneliness are killers, these are the two things that we must try to defeat we all need someone to love and someone to receive love from (Real Love, that is) this is the only real therapy :-)))))))))))))
((((((((( HUGS ))))))))))))
