I Wish I was The Wizard

I wish I was a tin man  
Out there cutting wood;  
I'd rely upon the lube can  
To keep my elbows good.  
All day I'd task and toil  
Until it's time for tea,  
And then I'd take a squirt of oil  
To keep my knee joints free.  

I'd dream about a girlfriend,  
My dreams then turn to dust;  
I comprehend at daytime's end  
I'm just a heap of rust.  
I'll never find a maid of tin,  
It's tearing me apart,  
As when I search my soul, within,  
I find I have no heart.  
 
I wish I was a scarecrow  
Out, living in a lea.  
But all the critters there, though,  
Just jest and laugh at me.  
I stand about with outspread arms  
Scaring off the birds,  
I'm seldom heard around the farms...  
I'm always lost for words.  
 
I dream about a girl of straw  
Lithe enough to squeeze;  
My dreams then turn to chaff, and so  
They blow off in the breeze.  
I'll never get a spouse of hay,  
My dreams swill down the drain;  
I wouldn't know just what to say  
I haven't got a brain.  
 
I wish I was a lion, brave,  
Roaring mighty roars;  
Seeing off my foes to save  
The world from mighty wars.  
I'd spend my time a-prowling,  
Vaunting round with pride,  
Snarling and a-growling...  
But all I do is hide.  
 
I wish I had a lioness  
To hunt and ply for me;  
But that will never be, I guess ~  
I'm cowardly, you see!  
I have no courage for to ask  
A feline for a date;  
I have no luck ~ I have no pluck  
I'll never find a mate.  
 
So, I wish I was the wizard  
To save me from the storm;  
My life is such a blizzard,  
But who will keep me warm?  
I long to be a magic man  
The future I'd foresee...  
But then again a better plan,  
I'd rather just be me.