Twentyrun

I go back in again
preconscious answer repeated
another night
in the black ice heat of the stem
where explanations are only lies
whatever words come,
another night spent to forever
rising, falling, crawling, watching
watching
the night shorter
the moon dimmer
in the streetlight
the car hotter
I fail.
I fail you
as we ride this heat again
into American night
falling off one by one to darkness
pale faces sweating into sunrise
on another next-to-last desperation run
through the hours of regret
when the pools of imagination run shallow.
We dress to makeup who we were
best as we can
to pull it off again,
to find our way back to the night
back to our arms
or their arms or riding one more run
watching, crawling
watching…
the red-glow snapping of my new-found heart
beating hard.
Your rose dies in my vase
dried in the dayheat
where we shift heavily on the bed
sweating out our sovereign dreams
through fits of sleep
until we rise to ride again
into ice city smoking night
hiding your needle, toasting the chore
empty bodies riding, waiting
watching…
with no way left to turn back.
Home is lost, it's separated
by years and miles and countless dollars,
with its cold streams crashing through forest hills
its streetlights all burned out
its black sky lit with countless stars
that are lost here in the city haze.
Instead I wake in the dusk
feeling for the phone.
My rose dies in your vase.