Confessions of a cutter

Maybe try reformatting a bit where is easier to read. It flowed well, but it's hard to read and runs together at times. Here's an example of how you could improve it... I started to do the whole thing but it's long lol

"I'm pretty sure I'm on repeat,
Trapped in a mind that won't speak;
When I try all I get is defeat...
I'm hanging on with broken feet,
Laying down hopelessly in front of a train, watching it go by slowly. I'm sad, mostly, but watch closely, as I break out of this rope that holds me.
I take out this shiny piece of metal that's controlling me entirely.
I place it gently on my skin...
I can feel how cold it is...
I place the jagged edge so close to me, that I feel how damaging it intends to be.

Pulling back I must admit, if I wasn't already filled with hurt, this sorrow-drenched release would scare me.

But it doesn't.

It pulls me closer with every speckle of blood it draws from my weary body.
It calms me and that's what scares me.

What kind of twisted mind sees their body covered in red lines, blood red sparks flying, and thinks "this is what soothes my fractured, racing brain?"
It's only when I'm done and my brain snaps back that I feel guilty.
The guilt lingers and I think that's what kills me.
The pain dies and then it comes back but then the worst pain of all is the reasoning behind my disgusting habit.
Being told relentlessly that im not good enough to breathe the air that my body needs just to survive
That im not beautiful enough to call myself a person I'm just a thing that lives for others to stomp on and if I scream out in pain the giant that's stepping so hard on me will emotionally break me
So I fight so hard to decide what hurts more being stepped on by the giants or being torn down to 3'2 and having them yell into my face how much of a disgrace I am
My brain back tracks into that decision everytime I decide to go through with releasing my blood and cursing myself only this time there are no giants, it's only me that I'm fighting. Im a big bully and my own tainted words they hurt me
So instead of laying my insecurities on my heart for the world to see I start world war three inside of me
Go ahead and slice your wrists you'll never amount to anything anyway, that's what she used to say and that's what the bully inside of me says too
So I take the cold metal and place it on my wrist again this time angry at the mean words I said to myself and I see the blood form fast and the sting makes the bully inside of me rest for the moment.
I've punished myself, I've fed its hunger and I pick up what's left of me and fight again relentlessly"

Sorry, I understand that it could be a hard read if you're worried about format. I suppose, I'm more concerned about getting it out of me.

Gotcha... Purge away

Sorry- i didn't mean to sound rude if I did. I definitely need to work on making things easier to read. Thank you for the example. I appreciate it 😌

Favourite line:

So instead of laying my insecurities on my heart for the world to see I start world war three inside of me

That underlines my understanding so much of what gets labelled suicidal behavior is rooted in suppressed memories of bullying. You are right to let it out, regardless of the style; I regard this one's as 'as it is'.

Deep. I like it.

NICE COMPOSED PIECE...I LOVE HOW YOU EXPRESS YOUR MOST DEEPEST THOUGHTS WITH TRUE GRIT RAW AND UNCUT CONTINUE TO EXPRESS THYSELF AS YOU RELEASE THAT WHICH HOLDS YOU SPELL BOUND TO A PAST THAT SHOULD BE BURIED ALONG WITH THE PAIN...RESPECT

I like the way You spill this as Your narrative.
It is an easy read when we are permitted to listen to Your thoughts and feelings.

appreciate the open honest bare ink