deepundergroundpoetry.com
Breastfeeding song
Breastfeeding song
I slept in the basket of a plum balloon,
flew through a tunnel, cherry-black,
landed on your lawn in the middle of night
by the moon, by the moon, by the moon.
I woke in a bed quadruple my size.
You were eating tea, toast and blueberry jam.
The balloon was gone and you were singing
"By the moon, by the moon, by the moon,"
We walked. I chased a fly with my eye
from a sling, close to your heart.
I took to milk yet it wouldn't come through.
"by the moon, by the moon, by the moon."
I wept and wept, you wept and rocked
all that long, balmy day.
A woman came, smelt of lemons, and she held you
by the moon, by the moon, by the moon.
She stayed with us as milk came through,
shared wise stories until the dawn. You smiled,
danced barefoot with I in your arms
in the Sun, the Sun
- the Sun.
Published 23rd Dec 2019
Author's Note
If I were to write children's books this would be the style.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 2
comments 4
reads 493
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
23rd Dec 2019 1:17pm
Anonymous
23rd Dec 2019 9:12pm
Wowzers! I would read children's books if they were that good.
Anonymous
- Edited 24th Dec 2019 9:59am
24th Dec 2019 9:54am
Children’s book or not, this is rich.
Let’s just talk about that opening imagery for a second. Plum balloon and cherry black.
You ever have those moments when you think, shit, I wish I’d of written that? Yeah I wish I’d of written that. It was beautiful. The metaphoric value of the fruit was lush (and somewhat anatomical).
The other thing I liked about this poem was the parallels between the sun & the moon.
What I found most interesting is how this tied not only into gender (moon, feminine, sun, masculine... but I’m quite sure I don’t need to tell you that) but also emotions. The moon being a place of darkness, sadness and the sun being a place of light, joy.
The repetition of your phrase makes this poem in its style Plath as fuck. Can a poem be Plath as fuck? It is now.
What I loved most of all was how personal the poem felt to you, and I think that’s communicated so eloquently with the reader. This is all you, all emotion, all woman.
Top notch stuff, really. Thank you for being as vulnerable as you have been. There is an innocence here that is truly commendable.
-M
Let’s just talk about that opening imagery for a second. Plum balloon and cherry black.
You ever have those moments when you think, shit, I wish I’d of written that? Yeah I wish I’d of written that. It was beautiful. The metaphoric value of the fruit was lush (and somewhat anatomical).
The other thing I liked about this poem was the parallels between the sun & the moon.
What I found most interesting is how this tied not only into gender (moon, feminine, sun, masculine... but I’m quite sure I don’t need to tell you that) but also emotions. The moon being a place of darkness, sadness and the sun being a place of light, joy.
The repetition of your phrase makes this poem in its style Plath as fuck. Can a poem be Plath as fuck? It is now.
What I loved most of all was how personal the poem felt to you, and I think that’s communicated so eloquently with the reader. This is all you, all emotion, all woman.
Top notch stuff, really. Thank you for being as vulnerable as you have been. There is an innocence here that is truly commendable.
-M
29th Dec 2019 8:23pm
There is a tenderness to the singsong quality of this write that any warm blooded creature would feel, pulling their heart strings with the chubby digits of childhood. I love the beautiful use of refrain in moon and sun. The details are winsome. I think Missy said it best. This is beautiful, heartfelt work. Thank you for sharing with us.
I would love if you would send an audio reading of this poem to the podcast. If you would be amenable, please include the title and your screen name and send to:
undergroundoutloud@outlook.com
It would grant fuller dimension to the work through your elocution and draw interest in your beautiful writing. Member participation is the life's blood of the podcast, I hope you will consider it and I am looking forward to doing that spotlight on you in an upcoming episode.
In kindness,
Daniel
I would love if you would send an audio reading of this poem to the podcast. If you would be amenable, please include the title and your screen name and send to:
undergroundoutloud@outlook.com
It would grant fuller dimension to the work through your elocution and draw interest in your beautiful writing. Member participation is the life's blood of the podcast, I hope you will consider it and I am looking forward to doing that spotlight on you in an upcoming episode.
In kindness,
Daniel
