Limping Isn't Easy

Limping isn’t easy, I stub my small cursed toe almost weekly,
    It hurts so much that I’ll whine as if I’m a little wimp,
It’s so bad it’s hard to breathe because then I get all wheezy,
    Which is why the next day I stroll with a casual limp.

When yours truly walks into any room folks say “he’s very cheesy”
    Especially because of the way I’ve tried to preen and primp,
But once people see my stride they claim it’s slightly sleazy,
    Hobbling awkwardly makes me look like some playful chimp.

No matter how much I try to make it look cool and breezy,
    In my stagger I lack the swagger resembling a pimp,
It’s because I’m clumsy in the way I move so it isn’t easy,
    To take a tumble then for days on end walk with this limp.