deepundergroundpoetry.com
S.O.S.
After the storm,
I was lost in the oblivion of an ocean,
It’s been 208 days
Since the Oleander sank into the sea,
For weeks in a small life raft
I floated for days on end,
Scared and lonely.
Armed with just one oar I fought for my life,
I fought sharks, even an orca,
As the sun blistered my olive skin,
I could feel myself beginning to ossify,
Constantly under peril,
I thought about all my sins.
Did the Lord oust me from civilization?
Omnipresent even at high sea,
When one day far away I spotted land,
Thinking I was delirious,
That it must have been a fantasy.
I reached the beach, weakened and deteriorated,
But the Almighty seemed to have a plan for me,
Now I make this deserted island my home,
I felt omnipotent under the shade of a palm tree.
After months of waiting I heard a sound,
Thinking I was imagining
I couldn’t believe it when I dropped to my knees,
A plane flying over and lower
And in a dramatic overture,
I lit the sign on fire so they could rescue me.
I was lost in the oblivion of an ocean,
It’s been 208 days
Since the Oleander sank into the sea,
For weeks in a small life raft
I floated for days on end,
Scared and lonely.
Armed with just one oar I fought for my life,
I fought sharks, even an orca,
As the sun blistered my olive skin,
I could feel myself beginning to ossify,
Constantly under peril,
I thought about all my sins.
Did the Lord oust me from civilization?
Omnipresent even at high sea,
When one day far away I spotted land,
Thinking I was delirious,
That it must have been a fantasy.
I reached the beach, weakened and deteriorated,
But the Almighty seemed to have a plan for me,
Now I make this deserted island my home,
I felt omnipotent under the shade of a palm tree.
After months of waiting I heard a sound,
Thinking I was imagining
I couldn’t believe it when I dropped to my knees,
A plane flying over and lower
And in a dramatic overture,
I lit the sign on fire so they could rescue me.
Published 11th Dec 2019
| Edited 14th Dec 2019
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12th Dec 2019 4:09pm
This reminds me both of Castaway and Life of Pi in one poem. Particularly the fighting sharks. It says confessional, so I wondered if this is a real story? You had me googling The Oleander. LOL!
I have a few suggestions:
After the storm,
I was lost in the oblivion of [ an ] ocean,
If you substitute the for an you'll create some nice assonance and consonance of the a & n to set the phonics in motion!
I have a few suggestions:
After the storm,
I was lost in the oblivion of [ an ] ocean,
If you substitute the for an you'll create some nice assonance and consonance of the a & n to set the phonics in motion!
14th Dec 2019 00:34am
You're right, I didn't catch that assonance earlier. I wrote this for one of the comps earlier this year which is why I had to use "O" letters.
I thought a bit about those movies, I drew inspiration from a drum corps show of the same time (the pic is from the theme show). It was either SOS or Marooned in Maroon.
I thought a bit about those movies, I drew inspiration from a drum corps show of the same time (the pic is from the theme show). It was either SOS or Marooned in Maroon.
