Why Do Ye Smile?

( a Scottish sonnet, yano )
 
 
The world’s such a mess so why do ye smile?
There’s smoke in my face, I cannae see why.
You crawl on the ground, you must be a beast,
I’ll set light the house and have me a feast!
 
Before I do that, I’ll fatten you up,
With haggis I’ll stuff until you erupt.
I’ll roast you alive, I won’t kill you deed,
And fix up some chips to have on the seed.
 
Sae what do ye think me sheep bladder scruff,
Yer temp’rature’s right, I think it’s enough.
Just sit on yer erse, you look kinda pale,
As this is a first, I’ll pour us some ale.
 
Later, let’s have something special to eat;
Warmed-over haggis the next time we meet.