Pages torn from a hustler's journal: 1

What’s the real payday challenge is coming back to work again but you don’t see it unless you can see the paycheck as your golden handcuff. Every time you get paid you get convinced to come back and do someone else’s bidding, build up someone else’s company, serve someone else’s paradigm and be a cog in someone else’s design. Maybe there’s the hope of greater reward, some chain of value that you’ll ascend as you climb the ladder of merit and skill. But climbing the ladder of merit and skill means you’re more capable of doing whatever the fuck needs to be done, which you can do for yourself, or for whomever you please at whatever rates you please. If you can get good enough at technical skills to parlay them at under the usual cost while over-delivering on the industry standard, SOMEONE will pay you to work contract. I predict that the gig economy will expand its auspices, as the the language of money transcends boundaries and while repair tech or service provider is the most obvious avenue of independence, the real driving focus for me will be how can I apply this? Is this making me more useful? What’s the essential practice behind this that will make me better? I can’t stay still and become sedentary, but if I choose to see every activity as a series of moves that elevate or depreciate from core principles and ideas? Then I will constantly be striving to find core principles and ideas I can get better at. I can get better at being focused, staying on task, following through, remembering, writing things down, taking initiative, asking questions, working fast. But I cannot place great stock on being good at $15/hr work. I can work hard at working hard and smart and doing things right and doing the right thing and getting after all the factors. But I cannot care so much about being good at my job that I stay past my term of service. The simple honor and dedication to a job well done, to craftsmanship is important and worthy and should be adhered to. The consistency of my narrative is in my work, the quality of work and results I deliver in every situation. Striving to be a righteous craftsman, tradesman, means that even before I learn much about a trade, any trade, or any craft I can already deliver optimum performance as a student, as a laborer, as the role I play in that situation. Being good at those roles makes me more mercurial and feeds back to the global understanding. That sector of my persona sphere is what will make me the most money and freedom as it’s the most strategic-focused and necessary for all strategy. There is no separating Strategy from Water. The water place in my mind, the AllFather place in my mind, the place I go to during skating, massage work, tattoo, sex, jiu jitsu, freestyle, meditation, writing, nature, hackey-sack, dancing, music, playing with my nephew, talking with women, hustling is a place that I want to live. That’s where I find my home. When I die I want to know that I spent as much of my life as I possibly could in the water place, the AllFather place. That’s where the maximum good can be done for the maximum number of people and the maximum flow state is achieved and the maximum longevity and sustainability is breathed and the highest state of fluidity is free and the Godform and non duality is at its closest to me. That’s where I find myself. That’s what transcendence looks like to me. There’s so many paths and arms to the Flying Spaghetti Monster that Muslims paint as Allah to keep from graven images, and the nodes of consciousness that seep through those roads and tubes are what hold me through high motion activity. It’s solving and growing and that’s where my mirror neurons turn on, and where I hold the panopticon in my palm and where I find God.

At the end of your life you’re gonna wanna know that you did you every step of the way. Far as I know we don’t get another shot at this. Consciousness might be just an eye blink, an accident of dearth from chemical bursts that happenstance captured a piece of chance. The rest of existence is bigger and the perceptive lens by which we confine ourselves, define ourselves bends the paths we take because we get trapped in those risks, mistakes, bliss, misses, all the shit we have staked, the losses and gains crop up and become our lanes. “Stay in your lane”. Simple and plain. Popping pimples, mercenary minstrel, a fistful of principles is easy to stick to. What sticks to you? Physics doesn’t respect the timid and probability will always do the sexy thing. Nexus ring. Ouroboros chorus rings. From the center, everything that enters returns, wherever, whenever, everything is tethered to the center pole. Does the center hold? Measure out what you call gold, treasure it as it grows. Stay in the pocket and flow. Hip socket stroll unwinds. Running uphill, gunning the grind.

A few days off from the last contract position. A trap from where I was sitting. 15$/hr to do work that’s worth about that, no return but the paycheck. Nothing to learn but the next step. More to earn with self respect. Enough to burn the market and check my reps. Invest to kill the odds. Skills to the job. Stand still and get robbed. Cancer feels on the hamster wheel, pivot off. Tare of a Seer: Aware of the future, clearly more of the present. Sentence medicine. Call it forward. Steer your course. Smash some doors. Run some stairs. Please some women. Disagree with some women, Learn to want what you didn’t know you wanted. Learn to love what you have. Feels true to be righteous, lucid. Jiu jitsu moves in life grooves, play out through.