numb

here I go again
making a fool of myself
eyes drooping, words slurring
everyone knows what I am
I'm so high  though
I just don't give a damn
liquor, uppers, weeds or pills
makes no difference to me
only care how they make me feel
distant and cold
void and cold-hearted
I started young but now I'm old
me and my high have never parted
I sit here comfortably numb
wondering if it matters
pondering life and looking dumb
constant failures. one after another
maybe I will reach out for help
maybe call my mother
but I don't wanna be a bother
and whats the other option
my piece of shit absent father?
look so innocent
but damn thats a lie
 no matter how much I repent
I'll go to hell when I die
take a seat and stay a while
watch this inevitable train wreck
watch me crash out while wearing  a smile