deepundergroundpoetry.com
Cut me Before I Die
you gave me the blade
so cut me
before I cry
before the pain sets in
before I die
and drown in the shit that drove me
to this place
cut me
as deep as you can slice
mince me into a million pieces
so I pay the price
come on, I dare you
to chew me alive
bloody wrists are healthy
they help me survive
sever a tendon
make it rain
pour out every ounce of me
from every vain
this life was meant to hurt
so honor it
cut me
I quit
so cut me
before I cry
before the pain sets in
before I die
and drown in the shit that drove me
to this place
cut me
as deep as you can slice
mince me into a million pieces
so I pay the price
come on, I dare you
to chew me alive
bloody wrists are healthy
they help me survive
sever a tendon
make it rain
pour out every ounce of me
from every vain
this life was meant to hurt
so honor it
cut me
I quit
Published 5th Nov 2019
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The author encourages honest critique.
6th Nov 2019 3:40am
Wow -- i have no words for this........
(btw, i draw blood when i get really stressed but haven't figured out the words to express my behaviour -- You have expressed this very very well)
(btw, i draw blood when i get really stressed but haven't figured out the words to express my behaviour -- You have expressed this very very well)
Theo, the word is “control”. You feel out of control and in pain, emotionally & mentally, so by cutting , it’s a proxy for the pain in life that feels out of control , by administering it to yourself in ways that you can control, how much and when. Unfortunately it doesn’t solve the source of the uncontrollable pain, but gives temporary relief from it by redirecting your thoughts and feelings to it, thus taking the attention off the underlying source (s).
6th Nov 2019 4:57pm
I appreciate you Tallen, and I’m glad you enjoyed it. MadameLavender summarized it perfectly. It’s a cry for help as much as it is a form of control, one that doesn’t need words. Funny how we’re willing to ask for help but unwilling to receive it..
6th Nov 2019 7:39pm
I agree with You, Lisa, 100% about the control
thingy
I have also been pulling out slivers of toenails by the roots since i was nine.
I am not certain about the cry for help gig
but for me, when i can control my pain
then the emotional and mental pains don't cut as deep.
I think at this last stage in life i don't believe i need help that resources could be used for others who need it more. I mean, i've made it this far.
thingy
I have also been pulling out slivers of toenails by the roots since i was nine.
I am not certain about the cry for help gig
but for me, when i can control my pain
then the emotional and mental pains don't cut as deep.
I think at this last stage in life i don't believe i need help that resources could be used for others who need it more. I mean, i've made it this far.
6th Nov 2019 7:43pm
I have never asked for help
(even when i became Homeless for 2+ years in San Diego, CA)
Even now,
i had to retire early and my family want me to apply for the FREE senior food boxes and i know i can survive without and will not. It's not pride yet i don't exactly know what it is.
ML and You are right about the control issues
though.
Upon that thought WE are all in agreement.
(even when i became Homeless for 2+ years in San Diego, CA)
Even now,
i had to retire early and my family want me to apply for the FREE senior food boxes and i know i can survive without and will not. It's not pride yet i don't exactly know what it is.
ML and You are right about the control issues
though.
Upon that thought WE are all in agreement.
6th Nov 2019 6:53pm
I admire your courage and strength, TravelingFairyPerson. Not to mention your contributions here. xo
7th Nov 2019 00:48am
I admire how you challenge the pain and in a sense I feel (though I could be wrong) that you have found a way to transmute it into a unique euphoria. Experiencing pain/pleasure simultaneously. I enjoyed it immensely.
