ressurection

Last sentence was a beauty, and on the whole this is a touching snapshot of the emergence from failed suicide. Was the line about the snake a reference to the devil in the story of Adam and Eve?

no.. the line about the snake was about me now having one leg so I sort of feel like a snake.. upright snake wavering on the beams :D

i like it, but it's not as strong as most of your poetry is. i'm really not sure about one word here: blood; it seems to be apart from the whole poem and spoils it in a way . "blood" is much better than "ashes", but i'm sure you can change it to something better. i love idea (and connection with reality) of you having one leg and using metaphor of a snake :)

I wrote this while in the hospital.. it's not as graphic or intense as some of the other pieces I've submitted here I agree.. but I felt it had to be expressed.. maybe it doesn't fit on this site though.. hmm blood doesn't sit well with you huh? I don't know what I'd change it to because it goes along with the actual experience that I wrote it after.. there was a lot of blood in my apartment after the suicide attempt.. but I'll definitely think about what you said and consider what I can do.. thanks as always hun!! cheers.

I like it.
It seems alot calmer than most of your work, it has a very measured pace which carried alot of weight with me.
I want to pick favorite lines but it just ends up as the whole lot :-P

well what I post here isn't the only kind of poetry I write.. I'm not just some dark fucker.. I actually have 15 different books I'm working on.. some lust.. some harsh.. some short stories.. an alternative music theory book.. some art books.. some memoirs.. some funny some creepy.. some just random poetry thats not offensive or brutal at all.. more reserved stuff.. I just figured a lot of that stuff wouldn't really have a place here and anyway at the moment I'm focusing my creative efforts on dark stuff so a lot of what you read is brand new.. glad you dig the lighter stuff too bro.. cheers!!