I Have Lost You and Myself

my whole body is numb,
you are my demon,
you were the only one I ever loved

I have tried to drown you,
I am the drowned,
gone as you are still stuck like glue

these arms of mine wishing only to hold what I have lost,
I hate you,
imagining being behind you my arms wrapped and crossed

I wish it never would of ended,
I'm vanishing,
to heaven we could of ascended

The cold is bitter but I remember the shoulder,
longing for you,
warm emotions frozen in place by my heart a unmoving boulder

looking down seeing the ground,
gone with the wind,
I get lost when know ones around

sad truth but I lie to myself,
a wicked poison,
working hard on Christmas the hardest working elf

wisdom surrounds all that I am,
its my fault,
apologize please, goddam

I want you back so badly,
loves first kiss,
you where all that I felt, sadly

I opened my heart to you it was a valley,
so in love,
I would of gave my life for you gladly

I am a crippled soul,
crazy for you,
I have lost everything you have made whole