im not okay

I'm not okay even though you ask
i try to be positive every day
but still i wake up felling like ass

i cant face all this pain that's in my heart
someone take this pain away
i am empty make this rusty heart start

my brain is insane a few nuts loose
i throw my rope on the tree
put my neck threw an live happily hanging from this noose

people say i need to smile more
how can you when all you do is frown
when you are lost and sore

i take my time to focus on me
but fuck I'm not okay
fuck take this pain away

my heart pumps with every failing beat
failing even in my sleep
i look at these stars and ask for defeat

then i look down at my
hands and down to my feet
its close to Halloween but candy is no treat

i tell death everyday my life is yours to reap
dying silently headphones on music loud on my Bose
all this pain in my heart the only thing i need and want to keep

i am a corpse bloated that's floated ashore
all this pain at my core
what am i living this life for