deepundergroundpoetry.com
After the First Dawn
Meet me in the morning,
When the last snowflake falls,
Next to the water,
Where the rope bridge washed away,
Take the path,
Beyond the bowing kissing tree,
Then follow me,
Out of this dream.
When the last snowflake falls,
Next to the water,
Where the rope bridge washed away,
Take the path,
Beyond the bowing kissing tree,
Then follow me,
Out of this dream.
Published 24th Sep 2019
| Edited 25th Sep 2019
Author's Note
The snowflake represents the coldness of anger and frustration.
The bridge represents a bridge that was lost.
And I don't think I need to clarify the rest.
https://youtu.be/pxpLxb5jHO0
The bridge represents a bridge that was lost.
And I don't think I need to clarify the rest.
https://youtu.be/pxpLxb5jHO0
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
24th Sep 2019 8:20pm
Had a kind of soft, dreamy quality in it's detail and brevity of images, so the closing line makes sense Subtle syllabic harmony. Nice work. If I were to suggest anything, I would say to expand on it.
24th Sep 2019 9:53pm
Thanks, I always appreciate good advice.
And that is a fantastic idea, I'll work on exploring ways to expand this one!
And that is a fantastic idea, I'll work on exploring ways to expand this one!
26th Sep 2019 11:38pm
Not sure why I thought of Arwen talking to Aragorn as if they would make a getaway together. Daniel is right, it has the dreamlike quality.
Beautifully done.
Beautifully done.
27th Sep 2019 11:06pm
