Disconnecting

there's no words for this feeling
laid out in the sun like a fat cat
basking until the light peppers pretty colors
all through my vision
to make a rainbow out of trapped tears

reality and I have never conspired well
huddled in a disheveled heap
whispering frantic wishes and fairytales
in the voices of hidden children in the walls
children fed stories of success and dreams come true

remnants of who I used to be haunt me still
popping up in unbidden memories
of the people and events that shaped me
that isn't me... the mirror can't be showing the truth
those eyes are much too dead to be mine

snip, snip... out into the sun rays
locked away in this melancholy yet peaceful bubble
my demons are at bay, come what may
I've tumbled down a wishing well
and somehow thats worse than a bunny trail