deepundergroundpoetry.com
Autumn
Death has come to love me
With the same darts as your bliss.
Fires awaken in my heart.
Which beauty is meant to be?
From the sky, my tears plummet,
And each soul that falls
Is a piece of my love for you.
Now they gather with candles
And sighs upon the little flames.
I would kiss your brow in the night,
And suffer myself to sleep,
Aching for an hour of unrest.
Those who travel to my summit
Remark now upon the loneliness.
Once a palace stood. Golden and proud.
Now deserts of white surround,
While a fire heaves upon high.
I look to tall, yellow grasses,
Devoured by starving suns.
My mind grows weary
As I cage myself in the gloom.
My prison built by my own hand,
Where no life wanders;
Where dwells ne’er a kiss.
I watch as the music fades,
While the rain dies away.
© 2019 Marten Hoyle
Published 17th Sep 2019
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 1
reads 342
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
17th Sep 2019 8:24pm
cracking opening lines, as are these:
I would kiss your brow in the night,
And suffer myself to sleep,
Aching for an hour of unrest.
I look to tall, yellow grasses,
Devoured by starving suns.
honestly enjoyed it as a whole, though feel if you finely-tuned stanza 2 and trimmed some of the other lines back (like 'Those who travel to my summit/Remark now upon the loneliness) you'd do greater justice to a piece that aches long after the end of the read.
I would kiss your brow in the night,
And suffer myself to sleep,
Aching for an hour of unrest.
I look to tall, yellow grasses,
Devoured by starving suns.
honestly enjoyed it as a whole, though feel if you finely-tuned stanza 2 and trimmed some of the other lines back (like 'Those who travel to my summit/Remark now upon the loneliness) you'd do greater justice to a piece that aches long after the end of the read.
