One Phone Call (a collaboration with diddi)

I remember the night
the phone call ended
my soul descended
my spirit dismembered ,
I heard it alright
the voice of another
I felt like a nothing
cast aside
right after you lied
I think inside I died ,
I remember that night .

I heard the the throaty laughter
the satisfied purr
Of another from your bed
That sound stabbed
my heart a thousand times
as it echo and re-echoed
within the walls of my soul
I remember your sighs
after the loving
The laughter  that was yours.

You thought
you put the phone down
my ears they caught
you messing around
my tears , my heart
cry bleeding , a clown
I heard every part
of you screwing out loud .

Unwilling ears to pleasured moans
witness to low screamy ecstasies
Your voices breathlessly mingling
leaving nothing to imaginings
tears streaking down my cheeks
accompanied the thriump
of your libidinous coming
in each other's arms.

So here I am a nothing
Eight years a scam , as you fling
yourself around the bed springs
I wish that I did not ring
don't I to you mean a thing

But missing you was not an option
Wanting you was not coveted
They come like eruptions
Like stupid emotional volcanoes
They come uninvited
At dusk at dawn at twilight time
My arms ached for you
My fingers like claws dialled your number
to everlasting pain

So maybe if
I never rang you
would I just live
a lie , continue
believing that it
was I instead of you
posessive , paranoid
overload .

So here I am destroyed
By just One phone call
Exquisite pain caused
by an accident
Just One Phone call
Crashed my world.