Untitled II

I’ve never felt this uneasy before.

Uncertainty.

Anxiety clawing from the inside of my throat while my pride forces my lips closed.

Coward. Scared to face the truth. Tiptoeing around obvious land mines of countless questions in your relationship.

Have you made the wrong decision? Are you fighting for something that you killed years ago?

What’s the use of becoming a better person to love this lifeless carcass of a union?

Lying next to your sins each night. Kissing a ghost goodbye every morning. She’s not here anymore.

Embarrassed. Ashamed. Useless. Fraud. This is you at your core.

I’m trying to find the strength to face my heartache.

But my heartache smiles back at me. Politely grins at my repetitive jokes.

Empty compliments fall clumsily from my hostages mouth like drool from an infant.

Are they sincere?

Is there someone else? Has there been someone else before?

I will find the courage to get through this. It will either be with or without you.

I’ve been through too much to break now.