deepundergroundpoetry.com
comfort storm.
thunder breaks
overrules even the good noises
dead air
a quiet hum
old life
though not so long ago
seems ages behind.
splashes of color
blend together to a mess
things don't feel like they used to
if only the floor was earth
the ceiling was open sky
it's time to make an escape;
maybe rain is comforting afterall.
june 27, 2008
overrules even the good noises
dead air
a quiet hum
old life
though not so long ago
seems ages behind.
splashes of color
blend together to a mess
things don't feel like they used to
if only the floor was earth
the ceiling was open sky
it's time to make an escape;
maybe rain is comforting afterall.
june 27, 2008
Published 8th Jan 2010
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8th Jan 2010 3:13pm
nice poem; i liked the structure of it, lay out on the page. makes it work. not too sure about last line: "maybe rain is comforting afterall." it sort of closes down the whole poem and doesn't leave any space for the thoughts.
12th Jan 2010 7:44am
for the input! i will definitely consider some new ideas for the last line, my poems are mostly first draft-ish...haha but i would like to go back and edit a lot of them. thank you again, for reading! :)
