The Wildest Of Thoughts

The monitor is the only light in the room
And the darkness around me feels right
As I try to release the dark thoughts inside my mind
Wishing I had a greater talent to find the words
To express the feelings that float up from my unconscious
But my meagre attempts will have to suffice
Since the feelings must come out
Black thoughts have invaded my mind of late
As deeply disturbing as any I have ever known
And I want to vent them away from my soul
Before they must come out in blood
It's an opening of the floodgates to keep the dam from breaking
Wanting to go so badly
But needing to stay even worse
It's a battle of the soul with my life in the balance
I need to repeat over and again
That I love life
Even through the weeping of my heart
Until I have convinced myself
That it is true
While all the while
The wildest of the thoughts that kill
Dance in my head
The thoughts that would take me away
I fight to kill them first