I can't stop feening

I can't stop feening, if I don't smoke or drink I'll start biting my bottom lip almost to the point of profusely bleeding. I need to hurry up and overdose, so I can die or become completely comatose. I feel like only then will I no longer suffer if I succeed my friends and family will hope that my brain will fully recover, but I'll make sure that I don't come back, I'll do so much drugs and alcohol that my brain shuts down like the banks, and other businesses when the stock market crashed. I wish I could get my throat slashed or, since I'm in a wheelchair I could drive it into a pool I'd make sure I was alone so nobody would here the water splash. I could also drive in front of a train which would be a faster way to end my pain. I'm not gonna lie I don't care how I die. Fast or slow it doesn't really matter, I'm nothing but a feen, I feel so insignificant only other feens will truly know what I mean.