20 and Counting

I want  
To be nothing like myself  
The only time I was ever comfortable being me
Was when I was too young to know who I am
It's such a terrible shame
To get to know yourself and the world around you  
I can't think of the time when it started
Not specifically, at least
I supposed it was around the time of the move
Such a long drive
From the ever familiar farm to the dust of unknown
You can't stop it when it finally begins
When the curiosity transforms into something deeper
When you realize that the flower you've grasped contains a bee
I remember
So very much
So very little  
Everything but the smallest details
There was once a time when I felt complete
But time and circumstance can rip you to pieces
Tearing bit by bit
Corners and seams  
Every person in your life takes a little piece
You have to find the person who's been following behind you
And gathering them back up and waiting for you to take them back
Find the one who makes you complete again
That childish bubbling feeling of belonging
Impostors are everywhere  
I want  
To know where I am  
 
I think I'm ok with who I am.