Something Killed Me

It’s like this whole time I was dreaming
(Maybe I’m still dreaming now)
But I feel I awoke just now and blinked off all the cobwebs.
The dream is truly beautiful, but only is a dream.
Inside all is quiet now, what sat so deep has crumbled down.
What fine silt so smooth at first enveloping my core
Cracked off to leave a hollow.
Now the notes fall in and resonate without an altered timbre.
There are no ideals here, there is nothing here to reach.
You are no desired, and I am left so clean.
You make me into who I seem to be –
I have refused, but I refuse no longer.
It’s too real, as I’ve known all along.
There are no ideals here, and if this is the ideal
I don’t want it anymore.
No one will agree – but they can keep on chasing after
Some epitome – but I won’t be
The drop that fights its way back to the waterfall.
The waterfall’s in me.
And now I see, in it’s the drop, the waves ashore, the melting current, placidly before
The fall roars through its heart.
I don’t think of kings or queens, rich inside their field of diamonds.
I don’t think of stars – I hear only silence.
Somewhere I dropped my diamond.
You can have it all.
I don’t think of love.
And I forget the waterfall.


09/21/11