deepundergroundpoetry.com
WHAT THE FUCK
Stop fucking asking what my problem is
Do you honestly forget that easily?
God, I really fucking envy that of you
Always just dismissing me so readily
I told I don’t feel well and
I haven’t really slept in days
I’m sure I overdid it yesterday
And now I’m hurt in every way
My body is fucking broken
Weren’t you at the appointment?
Stop acting like I’m alright and
This is just my bad temperament
Cause with chronic pain you always feel
There’s not a moment that goes by
Where you aren’t thinking about it
Like how long before you can just die
Cause that’s how we really feel!
There are no options or treatment
There’s just death or chronic illness
Each one I'm pretty sure are permanent
And then there’s the stress of it all
Am I wasting my time and collecting debt?
Will this even work or will this help?
And it’s not all just in our fucking head
I mean fuck, the stress makes it worse
Our bodies are already so damn broken
And the stress causes it to fight itself
Man, I’ve already given up on hoping
I’m done hoping that I won’t stress
Cause I know that I fucking will
Done hoping I won’t keep hurting
But that was never “god’s” will
Like, what the fuck even is that?
An “omnipotent god” just picked me?
He up and decided I would live this way
And then promised me fucking eternity?
Like give me a fucking break
You’ve got to be kidding me
Just going to live this whole “life”
And then all of this “eternity”
Fuck that, man! What a joke.
And I’ve never been that dense
I’m playing the hand I’ve been dealt
The only way that it makes sense
Do you honestly forget that easily?
God, I really fucking envy that of you
Always just dismissing me so readily
I told I don’t feel well and
I haven’t really slept in days
I’m sure I overdid it yesterday
And now I’m hurt in every way
My body is fucking broken
Weren’t you at the appointment?
Stop acting like I’m alright and
This is just my bad temperament
Cause with chronic pain you always feel
There’s not a moment that goes by
Where you aren’t thinking about it
Like how long before you can just die
Cause that’s how we really feel!
There are no options or treatment
There’s just death or chronic illness
Each one I'm pretty sure are permanent
And then there’s the stress of it all
Am I wasting my time and collecting debt?
Will this even work or will this help?
And it’s not all just in our fucking head
I mean fuck, the stress makes it worse
Our bodies are already so damn broken
And the stress causes it to fight itself
Man, I’ve already given up on hoping
I’m done hoping that I won’t stress
Cause I know that I fucking will
Done hoping I won’t keep hurting
But that was never “god’s” will
Like, what the fuck even is that?
An “omnipotent god” just picked me?
He up and decided I would live this way
And then promised me fucking eternity?
Like give me a fucking break
You’ve got to be kidding me
Just going to live this whole “life”
And then all of this “eternity”
Fuck that, man! What a joke.
And I’ve never been that dense
I’m playing the hand I’ve been dealt
The only way that it makes sense
Published 7th Jul 2019
Author's Note
so fucking done today.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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comments 10
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7th Jul 2019 8:46pm
Stand out line is that death is permanent you are pretty sure.
I think maybe people feel frustrated that they don't have an answer here. Kinda dampens some people's ego, right? That may explain the perceived uncaring nature of some. It's attack if all other diplomatic channels fail, maybe?
I think maybe people feel frustrated that they don't have an answer here. Kinda dampens some people's ego, right? That may explain the perceived uncaring nature of some. It's attack if all other diplomatic channels fail, maybe?
7th Jul 2019 8:50pm
I just needed to vent it. And of course continuing to plaster a smile on my face like I never had to vent in the first place! Thanks, Snaggy, for the read and the comment!
7th Jul 2019 9:37pm
7th Jul 2019 9:50pm
7th Jul 2019 10:05pm
9th Jul 2019 2:52am
We all have those days, and this was beautifully penned two days ago.. see how far you've came...what a very insightful self-reflection
9th Jul 2019 3:09am
Thank you so much, SKC. Yeah, that’s what I love about a spill though. Opens up space for a better vibe. Thanks for the read and comment!
9th Jul 2019 3:17am
9th Jul 2019 11:13pm
9th Jul 2019 11:24pm
