Comprehending my anxiety

It started off with not going to school,
And then I could no longer talk on the phone.
It was like I was living inside a glass dome.
 
When my mother asks if I want to talk,
I say no; even when I want to say yes.
My mouth is a door with no key,
A song without melody.
 
I'm starting a new job, and the voices are so loud.
They're telling me this isn't right,
Even though it is.
 
My mother tells me she doesn't understand,
I tell her to imagine speaking without sound,
An ocean filled with self doubt.
 
She tells me to push through,
But all I want to do is dissolve into nothingness.
I tell her that my body won't let me,
But she just sighs.
 
I tell her that I am tired, of this pointless fight.
My mouth is a sea full of forgotten words,
My teeth, a boneyard full of syllables.
My stomach, a belly full of ash.
My body, a sunken ship.