Am I an alcoholic?

its 2am and I'm drunk again. 34 nights in a row now. Does that make me an alcoholic? I don't think so. I don't have the urge to drink nor much of a desire. It's like lemonade on a hot day. And boy its been hot. Real hot, in fact its been record highs for this month. Does that make it an excuse for my drinking. Perhaps a minor one. I could drink water and I do. But it doesn't kill the depression or ease the anxiety. Jesus what a toll they take! Beer? I come out of isolation
I make friends and socialize. I even
go out to the designated smoking area instead of the half run down plaza nearly in my backyard. The anxiety ceases or at least becomes bearable. Depression? It seems to go away and I can laugh and mean it.

Its 3am and I'm drunk again. I managed a couple more beers. Does that make me an alcoholic?
The pain is numb but I'm alone. I feel distant. Would someone respond to my drunken text if attempted it? Would it be something I regret? Is this depression and anxiety? I dont think so. I feel fine, a little dizzy. Its fine dizzy can be fun. I really wish that neighbor was with me. I kinda want to tell her things. Personal emotional things. would she even want to hear about them? Of course she would, she's just like me! But she doesn't drink hardly. Does that make me an alcoholic? I don't think so. Am I normal aside from my mental issues? I hope so.
I'm tired. Where is my neighbor? I really dont want to be alone.

It's 4am I had a couple more beers, even though its not hot. Does that make me an alcoholic? I really don't know. Should I try for that longed and missing little sister relationship? Or do I want to make her my whore? That seems so harsh. She's so sweet. Some kind of innocence about her. But if I were her mother I would wash her mouth out with a bar of soap. Time outs would be a common occurrence. Rough Sex and spankings? She's to innocent I don't want to see my little sister humiliated and in pain. My whore, oh she would eat that bar soap! Time out would be the highlight of our day. Why do I feel like this? Am I a bad guy? Should I drink another beer? Just that thought makes me wonder, am I an alcoholic? Id like a little attention. I think I'm going to call my best friend. I need to ask her opinion. Am I an alcoholic?