Every day

always appreciative
yet still I feel so trapped..
trapped in time
trapped in my mind
trapped in the 9 to 5
anyone else hate that shit?
don't wanna sound like I'm complaining but damn is it draining,
takes it all out of me
every day
the heat
the dust
the standing
the walking
the lifting
the shitty ceiling
the fans blowing hot wind
the fucking heat..
come home, my body's beat
my minds a mess
my soul's scattered and stressed,
I consume some cannabis
she lifts me to a lighter level,
calms the confusion
illuminates the infinite
drifting away from the delusions
silences the sufferer state of mind,
I reach towards the notebook  
to write the worries away
I feel I must every day.
Looking at the clock
I'm disgusted
fuck me
 if I don't wanna wake up
fucked up tomorrow
 I gotta go to sleep in 4 hours.
Don't misunderstand
I'm grateful to be able to make any amount of money but there seems to be
never enough time
to do everything I would like to do
so I stuff it all in one short day,
next I must go play my instrument of choice.. thy guitar
used to be obsessed with being a star
now I just wanna play
and play I do and practice I don't
too much,  I'm addicted to the flow I try to throw myself in by puffing that herb once more, for an hour or so if I'm lucky
I'm completely liberated from any ludicrous loops lingering all through my head.
It's so lovely to be able to lift away from the thoughts through Sonic expression a realm I always wish to exist in.
I check the clock
fuck 2 hrs left
gotta squeeze some yoga in
hopefully I don't get distracted doing dumb shit, mindless scrolling on my phone, meaningless masturbation,
pointless eating
damn I'm tired
 time for sleep.
Awake,
Still appreciative always
but the cycle continues
every day.