The sandman's mockery

Paranoid and sleep deprived
On the verge of collapse I hear it
That tormentor of broken consciousness
Just as the silence grows strongest
And the darkness becomes material
A sudden creak, squeak or clanging.
The sandman watches my breaths
Till once steadied
He turns the handle of my door
Erratic I respond
With pin prick eyes aglow
A furnace of rage within my chest
I stare with violent expectation
Towards the non-event of imagination
The repetition is tedium itself.
Once again I slink under my sheets
Head encased by the pillow
One ear deafened
One listening compulsively
To every twitching branch
Absent from my observation.
Karma's chameleon tip toes past my bed
With each step a reminder
That I am the evil which roams the woods
And ofcourse, in this, I am not alone.
To be a monster is to know they exist
Watch the shadow of a victim long enough
Eventually you'll back away from your own
What if they know or knew all along
Just watching me play my games
Is my wake just the inversion of my path
Running to the door with brandished axe
Kicking it open with torch in mouth
And there's nothing there
But a ruined beast in my place
Watching his mind drag him down.
The door shuts
I return to bed
And lay here
Maddeningly lay here
I curl fetal and naked
Senses aflame
Eyelids heavy
Then tend to my nerves
In an attempt to fool a sleep
So I lay
Eyes close
And eventually my body softens
The tension slackens
Silence encompasses waking life
Ushering in potential to dream
As darkness becomes material
Then something steadily scrapes a window
Scratching across behind me
So I bang the wall
Jump up
Grab the nearest blade
Turn on a light
And charge outside
Naked and armed
Knowing all to well
The only threat here
Is myself
Sometimes I wish
That I'd see another me
Stood there, wild
Perpetrator and victim combined
So we could end this cycle
And by each others bloodied corpse
We might finally know peace
Heavy rain helps
It always has
Washing away the fear of capture