they fuck harder

got an old friend little eddie
good barmate
got enough stories to keep our minds off things we'd rather forget
til the alcohol kicks in and takes care of that

tells me when he gets close to a girl
(by his standards fucks her regular)
he tests her

starts treating her rough
everything's a problem
it's not just her fault he has to pick her up when her tire went flat
it's her fault the nail is in the tire

if she sticks by him and rides it out
he says she's gone in a week
but if she tells him to fuck off
boots him out and means it
he knows she's worth coming back to
we go back and forth about it
but i can't sway him
so i grab another round and ask about work

cause i remember when we were kids
nobody ever saw his momma in short sleeves
and nobody ever saw his old man big ed
walk a straight line

his momma jumped into the river when we were ten
big ed couldn't handle that
went on a bender and followed her
i figure it was the first time he ever intended to apologize

and most apples don't fall far from the tree
but occasionally one escapes
little eddie knows that
though he'd never admit it

he claims it's cause women with self-confidence
they fuck harder
cause they're used to taking care of themselves
i'd say he's scared of finding out how close to the tree he fell
so he makes sure he never needs to find out
the hard way