Needs and wants  - - Inspired by talking to Missy

 
I want to grow a bendy penis so long  
that when somebody says to me
“Go fuck yourself!”  - I can
 
I need to remove my brain in order to  
become a marxist following Groucho Stalin
 
I want to have all the mental health issues
I haven’t already got- yes there is still a few
 
I need to suffer from dwarfism
In order to lose weight
 
I want to win the lottery every week  
until I bankrupt the whole of the UK
that’ll be about 3 weeks in a row
 
I need to be a river dancer
Who gets turned on by a tap
 
I want to be a Euro-Septic allowing  
for  genocide enacted on everyone  
who plans to vote to remain in the EU
 
I need to be loved by adoring fans like the beetles
Or cockroaches, maybe even wasps
 
I want to be able to repeat the Jesus miracles
but better it needs more razmataz  
 
I need to live forever
being king of the universe
Master of all land beasts and fishes of the sea
 
I want Scotland to be the capital of the world
with the motto “If it's not Scottish it’s shite”
 
I need an extension
On my home
And my penis
 
I want to lay eggs like a hen
Only chocolate would do
 
I need to have a bottle in front of me
Rather than a frontal lobotomy
 
I want there to be a God
As long as it’s ME
I look like an Adonis after a car wreck
 
I need to remain insane in the brain
Normal people suck ass
 
I need to stop talking to Missy
She is properly mental