Multiverse Yous

If you were fart,
it may sound like a little "pffft" at the start,
but the smell's off the charts.
The unavoidable scent of my love can fill an entire Wal-Mart.

If you were feet,
dear, you'll never ever stink.
You'll smell like... What's that lovely perfume you wearing? Victoria's Secret, I think.
I'll savor your aroma that is so sweet,
and I'd love to tickle them toes too baby, that is, if you're feet.

If you were a booger,
I'll never blow my nose.
I might die of Cerebral hypoxia, who knows?
I just want you to be a part of me that's all.
So stay there my dear, in the winter, in the spring, in summer and fall.

If you were a baby,
I'd carry you in my belly.
For twelve months I'll be eating red meat, fish, eggs daily.
Yeah I know it's only nine,
but I'd miss you, stay inside me a little while it's fine.

If you were a Wookie,
who stepped on a dookie,
that looks like a mushed Oreo cookie,
I won't even mind playing footsie.
That'll definitely gonna lead to some all-night boogie woogie.

If you were "Once upon a time",
I'd love to be "Charming" and you'll be mine.
Even if you're the "Evil Queen" or the "Wicked Witch" who is green,
you'll always be the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.

But at the end of our day, you are you.
Nothing out there is more youer than you.
And what I'm saying now is truer than true.
My dear soulmate, I love you.